Happy New Year

Happy New Year!! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. Mine was...good...not great, but good. My family was SO busy up until Christmas Eve that, at least in my opinion, we couldn't enjoy the holidays like we normally do.

Christmas is such a special time of the year for me, and no, it's not because we get free gifts and eat tons of cookies. The Christmas season is my FAVORITE season of the year. In my mind, nothing compares to it. It seems like everyone is happier during the Christmas season. Carolers sing carols, people are kinder to one another, and the world's biggest problems appear to drift away while we celebrate "the most wonderful time of the year". And yes, the cookies help, as do the presents, family time, decorations, and songs (almost half of my music library is Christmas music). But mostly, it's the spirit of the season that makes me enjoy it so much.

This year, though, was different. Yes, I felt happy during the Christmas season, but I was busy with show rehearsals at night, and trying to clean the house/bake cookies/get out decorations during the day, that when the show ended on the 20th, I booked it like crazy to try to get Christmas "up" in our house in 4 days for company on Christmas Eve, but it was impossible. And the ONE room in the entire house that I LOVED decorating, where some of my favorite decorations go--MY room--couldn't even get decorated until after Christmas because I focused my attention on our common rooms downstairs. So, unfortunately, I didn't get into the spirit of the season as much as I like to.

However, I did get some really nice presents, including the first season of "The Office", a new book, a new healthy cookbook, and a new regular size Tarte mascara (I was using a sample size but told my mom I was using it sparingly because I couldn't afford it ("drugstore brand" makeup is usually what I buy), so she bought the mascara full-size!


With a new year comes new goals, and here are my goals for the week:

1.) Drink all diet pop

2.) Walk 1x/wk for 15 minutes

3.) Track mood daily

4.) Get to gym 1x/wk

See you Sunday!

New Goal Sunday

It's New Goal Sunday, and today is a new day just like any other. I've found as I go through this journey that I have trouble focusing on one day at a time. For example, it's only Sunday, and I'm already thinking about my whole week...what I'll eat, when, where, if I will have the money to go out if necessary, etc... That is a large problem I am currently working on. I actually have written on my goal board (beneath my goal) "Take it one day at a time--you can do this!"

HOWEVER (there's always two sides, isn't there?), as a musician, I feel that I cannot and do not have this luxury of taking life one day at a time. This year has been extremely busy for me, with 6 musicals year-round, church (including church choir and soloists for the big 150th anniversary celebration), a new accompanying gig, and long-term subbing. For me to think one day at a time is impossible. This past spring, I was asked by a dear friend if I would be available all summer to play in multiple musicals. If I had only thought of one day at a time, my response most likely would have been, "Right now, I'm not sure. Let me get closer to summer and I'll let you know." Musicians in my hometown are in high demand, especially accompanists, so people book musicians as early in advance as possible. If I said "no" to everything until I got closer to the actual performance time, people would go searching for someone who WILL say yes when they need them. As a consequence, I constantly think long-term, meaning anywhere from tomorrow to one year down the road.

Now I'll move onto this week's goal. It's from my doctor, who is helping me take small steps to reach my (as she puts it, 'ridiculous') goals.

SWITCH TO ALL DIET POP.

I've been working on this particular goal for 5 months now, and I can't seem to break my habit of drinking regular pop (mostly Coke, but occasionally Pepsi). My doctor told me to pour out 40 teaspoons of sugar onto a piece of wax paper, take a picture, and put it somewhere where I will see it everyday as a reminder of what I was putting into my body daily when I drank multiple regular pops a day. That picture will be up here at the end of the week.

Wish me luck!

Sparkpeople's 21 Day New? Member Challenge

It's officially day 30-something of my 21 day new member challenge that I found on Sparkpeople. Clearly, I've lost track. It doesn't help when you're starting the challenge and all of a sudden, your computer craps out on you. I took it to an Apple store as soon as I could and found out it *WASN'T* my battery, like I thought (my screen does say "Service Battery" constantly, but my hard drive had to be "rebooted"? or "repaired"? You techies know better than I do. All I know is I waited a while, the guy "ran tests" on it, and handed it back saying it's fixed. So, I finished Day 5 of the challenge, and now I'm picking up on day 6.

I'm learning so much about myself each and every day. Like...I dread going to the gym, but once I'm there, I'm...ok...but when I leave, I am on an emotional high. No one can touch me (could be because I stink, too...  :(  ). Or...I eat GREAT breakfasts, but then I get hungry and either chow down at lunch big-time or devour unhealthy snacks like there's no tomorrow. (Can you say LACK OF willpower?) Or what about...how I have FINALLY gone over to the "dark side" and gone from drinking regular pop to diet pop (Diet Mountain Dew ONLY, blech Diet Pepsi/Coke), via doctor's orders. Or what about the fact that I HATE ALL NUTS. CASHEWS, PEANUTS, ALMONDS, PECANS, WALNUTS, PISTACHIO NUTS, BRAZILIAN NUTS, YOU NAME IT--I HATE 'EM ALL. But I LOVE cashew butter. Like, I really want a spoonful now. It's just so good.

These new things I've learned a just a sampling of all I'm learning about myself, and I am truly loving every minute of it! Hope to see/hear from you more, Sparkers/blog readers!

Hey, I remember this.

Yowza. Where on God's green acres did the time go?

The reason I am back here is because I have a LOT of changes happening in my life, and I wanted to share them here since I haven't done a good job of updating social media.

Last time you heard from me, I believe, was December of last year (2014), and I was doing...stuff....yeah...I'll be honest, I haven't looked at my blog since then.

OK, I'll start here: It's been over a year since my uncle died, and I can't believe it. This year has gone by so fast! I know Uncle is still here because, well, he won't leave us alone.

Signs that Uncle won't LEAVE US ALONE:

• the rainbow that appeared in the sky 24 hours after he passed
• when Father and I were wondering if he could hear us talking about him, I looked up at the clouds and visible in the sunroof of our car was one cloud--a heart
• Uncle's stuff pops up everywhere, like the restaurant names he had come up with in notebooks I use when I'm teaching
• On Brother's b-day, he showed up not just to me, but to Mother and Brother at the restaurant in Tremont we went to (this one deserves some explaining--I was in line at a cafeteria-style fancy restaurant when I looked to my left and there Uncle was, standing there, staring bug-eyed at the ENORMOUS amount of food at this restaurant. I heard him say, "Wassuuuuupp??" [one of his favorite catch-phrases] and then disappear. I couldn't believe it but knew I was struggling with grief and that it wasn't real. The family sat down at the table with dinner and Mother said, "Did anyone else feel or hear or see-?" Brother immediately answers "Yes. I saw him in line. He was laughing." I told my story, and Mother said the lady at the main dish line asked what she wanted, and she heard Uncle behind her say, "I'll take one of everything!" and then laugh. I knew then it had to be real.)
• A dear friend of Uncle's left a solar Santa light at his gravesite. It lights up at night so Uncle never has to sleep in the dark. We took it home until next Christmas (this year!) and every night that it lights up, we know Uncle is here with us.
• Beatles songs playing wherever we go, some normally in places that would never play Beatles songs. (Uncle was a MASSIVE Beatles fan--at the concert of '64 in Cleveland, he charged the stage with the rest of the audience and ALMOST touched John Lennon's BOOT).

So, yes, he is still here and won't go away, but I am totally A-okay with that.

Next. My jobS.

Wow. What a whirlwind summer. I'll back up to get you seeing what I was seeing before summer started. February-June was a long-term substitute teaching position at my elementary, middle, and high schools. I started my day at the "intermediate" building, teaching 2/3-5 graders general music (singing, moving, dancing, playing instruments, etc...). Then, I went to the middle school building to teach grade 7 band students. Finally, I ended my day at the high school teaching concert band (9-12 grade). Know right now that I am NOT a band person. Or at least, I didn't THINK I was. But somehow I managed to get through the year using all of the information I learned in college (including those seemingly endless resource guides that saved my butt quite often) and help from people on the web (Facebook friends/college colleagues) and YouTube videos. And personally, I think I did a darn good job walking into a sticky situation like I walked into. I made the best of it and truly enjoyed every minute of teaching every grade level.

In March, a colleague and dear friend of mine--who I had worked with on one musical last year (I was keyboard 2 in the pit)--asked if I would like to be involved in 2 musicals this summer, but this time as rehearsal accompanist instead of just playing in the pit. Heck yes!! Musicals are one of my FAVORITE things to do! I agreed. But wait...it gets better.

When the school year ended, I realized that the job(s) I had held teaching in multiple buildings were open (!), but unfortunately, they were only open to "internal applicants", and I was not one of those. OK....then, the high school choral director position opened up to anyone. *GASP* Perfect! I went for it and got an interview. I did my best and gave it my all at the interview, but did not get the job. I have to admit: I was heartbroken. After crying my eyes out for a few days, I was finally able to pick myself up. I got asked by a few people: Why are you so sad? It's just one job. Look for more! But here's the thing, people. I've been "looking for more" for the past 3 years, and it seems that every person out there deems me not worthy for a teaching job. I've applied to over 100 school jobs around Ohio, and still no one has even given me a chance. More than anything, I want a chance. Or at least I want to know when my chance will come, because I feel like there's got to be something great for me out there. I'm frustrated and tired of looking and tired of life. At this point.

The day after I found out I didn't get the job I interviewed for, work started picking up for me. I had the two musicals this summer, then I got booked for another musical for the fall and two other theaters asked for me for their fall musicals. I said no to the other two theatres (no time!) but accepted a job as accompanist for a third total musical.

Lost count? So far, I've played for 5 musicals in 2015. Phew!

My summer was "musical mania". I started at the first musical theatre company (a professional company made of up college age and just beyond actors and actresses who were either getting their musical theatre bachelors or masters degrees). I worked there nearly every weekday from 9-4/5 playing "West Side Story" music. Then, I drove home, grabbed dinner, and went to our local state theatre for musical number 2 rehearsal from 6:30-10 (community theatre), playing "Into the Woods". Then, on Sundays, I had rehearsal from 3-7 for musical number 2. What a busy summer, but I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I love performing--it's my true passion and what I originally wanted to do when I went to college. So, playing/performing everyday? Cool beans.

During the first musical rehearsals, I was asked to accompany (REHEARSALS ONLY) another musical at the same playhouse. YES!! "Footloose"!!! All AMAZING experiences!

After the final musical--and summer--ended, I looked back on my past few months and felt a sense of complete bliss and happiness that I haven't felt in a long time. I wanted that feeling to continue, and now, as of the end of September, it still has!

I went to a production meeting for my fall musical ("25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee") and found out I'm not just accompanying the show, I am the music director (hello "promotion")! I not only play the music, but now teach all of it! I sat in on auditions and gave my input on cast selection. Then, before I knew it, rehearsals started. This is a truly amazing learning experience as I view and experience the "behind the scenes" of musical theatre and see just how much work goes into a successful show. As I tell my parents, I am keeping my eyes--and mind--wide open and absorbing everything I can while I have these opportunities.

On top of that, I've been booked as music director (woot!) for another musical at the local community/professional theatre that did "Into the Woods" for their winter musical! And I might have another musical coming up in March of 2016!

Hold on, I gotta catch my breath. Oh, and did I mention that I will be going to my first meeting of a local piano guild?!?! AND I am now the accompanist for a local community chorus!!

OK, I think that's everything. For now. So, to say I'm unhappy with life is not possible. I am blissfully happy and don't want this feeling to end.

OK, ok, weight loss. Weight loss. That's what this blog is all about. Ok, umm...I got a new doctor who is very supportive. She has given me goals to work on, including switching to all-diet pop (I knew the day would come), eating out only 2x/wk, and walking 30 mins 3-4 times a week. I'm working on those now as well as others. So, since tomorrow will be New Goal Sunday, I thought I'd get a head start and post my goals today. Currently, I have four:

1.) Switch to all-diet pop.

2.) Get 8 hours of sleep daily.

3.) Track all food everyday (the doctor wants to see my food journal at my two-month check-up).

4.) Get in 2 morning workouts.

My two month check-up is in about 2 weeks--wish me luck!

New Goal Sunday

Happy December! Things are going...meh...here. They could be worse, they could be better. Our house is in decorating/baking mode (busy busy!), but we're still managing subbing/other jobs/regular daily life. Sometimes I don't know how people do all of this around Christmas time. I'm going bonkers just thinking of my to-do list, but am definitely (working on) paring it down this year.

I have finally gotten my frozen drink consumption down to 1-2 a week, and am satisfied with that. Sometimes, I will have 2 a week, and I just have to accept that. If I try to be absolutely perfect with every goal, I will never be able to move on and better myself.

Lessons learned from slowing my consumption of frozen drinks:

#1: I can save a lot of money! $4.50/day x 7= $31.50/week x 4=$126/month x 12=$1,512/year. Hey, new Coach purse, come to momma!

#2: I can save a lot of calories! 400 cals/day x 7= 2,800 cals/week x 4=11,200 cals/month x 12=134,400 cals/year.

#3: I can save a lot of...pain. One drink every day=...root canal. This is what I get for downing WAY too much sugar (as my dentist said). And guess what? I get to have the root canal procedure on my brother's birthday! Happy birthday Brother! Ow.

NEW goal: Sure, I'll keep that goal of 1-2 drinks a week, but now I'm adding a new fitness goal:

~Get in 2 20-min cardio sessions~

I usually go to the gym once a week (although this week I did not). I am still learning Planet Fitness, and am in love with their abundance of cardio equipment (treadmills galore, ellipticals, recumbent and stationary bikes AND (my personal favorite) a machine that is similar to a Cybex Arc Trainer, but I don't think the arms move... I'm just trying to take it all in now.

Have a  good week!

Motivation Monday/ Planksgiving update

Happy Monday! I had the day off today, which was refreshing after an unusually busy weekend. Most of my day was spent cleaning (prep for Christmas!) and shopping. I got GREAT deals tonight, including a new set of sheets for my bed, a Madeleines pan (I just saw a chef use one to make Madeleines on Food Network, and I HAD to have one), a new EOS lip balm (I am addicted), new mascara, a new Food Network roaster for Mother for Thanksgiving, and Taylor Swift's new album (go ahead, judge). As I remarked to Mother, I haven't bought a new CD for myself in a long time, so it's nice to be able to listen to new music and not buy CDs track by track via iTunes.

I'll start with the Planksgiving update. If you haven't read in my previous blog post, I am doing an exercise challenge this month called "Planksgiving". Basically, I hold planks for a certain amount of time each day. It started at 30 secs on November 1, and by November 30, I will be up to 3 minutes. I just finished today's plank, which was actually yesterday's, since I had to play catch-up. Today was supposed to be a rest day, but oh well. I've gotten up to 50 seconds, and brutal merciful gracious it hurts. But don't worry...tomorrow I get to look forward to a 1-minute plank! *sarcasm*

Looking back at past blog posts, I see that I have not updated my weight in some time. There is a good reason for that. Planet Fitness does not believe in putting scales in their gym (their whole "no gym-timidation" thing), which I totally understand and appreciate, but it also makes it hard for people (like me) who rely on a weight check at least once a month. And of course, my scale at home only goes to 395 pounds. Instead, I will have to rely on measurements, and soon those will be on my blog.

Lastly, time for motivation:

~~Love your body and the weight will take care of itself~~

Have a great week.

New Goal Sunday

What a weird/rough/good/disappointing/happy week. This past week has been a roller coaster of emotions, some good and some bad. I'll start with the bad (and get that out of the way):

1.) My sleep schedule is off...WAY off. I've been sleeping night after night on the couch in our den, and that does not help. Here's how bad it's gotten. Two nights in a row now, I've woken up around 2:30-2:45, stayed up for an hour watching TV, and then finally drifted off to sleep. Last night was the worst. I fell asleep around 8:30 (the fact that I fall asleep really early like that doesn't help either). I woke up at 2:45 and stayed up until 4 a.m. I couldn't get to sleep, and it was for a terrible reason. I watched TV (anyone remember the Disney movie "Quints"?! It was on at 3:30!), but I turned it off around 3:45. I stayed up until 4 crying, literally sobbing quietly. I was reliving the day Uncle passed over and over in my head, thinking about everything I could have--no, should have--said that day. I should have done this, I should have said that. It was like I was trying to hurt myself again and again, but I couldn't stop these thoughts from creeping into my mind. 

I'm finally going back up to my bed. Hopefully, these issues won't happen again.

2.) It's been an up and down week in terms of work. I worked three days and had two days off. The three days that I worked had their ups and downs. 

3.) I swear it's not Sunday yet. It can't be. The weekend just started! (Get it? My weekend flew by.)

Now to the good (and I mean VERY good):

1.) I got to the gym today! For some reason, getting to the gym first thing on a Sunday morning makes my week (or at least my Sunday) get a good head start. 

2.) For the first time in at least 10 years, I have cut my frozen drink consumption to 1 drink a week. I have NEVER been able to do that since I started drinking frozen drinks over 10 years ago. I couldn't believe it! That's gotta be sone willpower I have.

Now it's time for a new goal! I'm actually sticking with my goal from last week. I've heard that it takes 2 weeks for a habit to kick in, so I want this habit of one frozen drink a week to have time to set in. 

My goal for this week: 1 frozen drink this week

Lesson learned from accomplishing this goal: I need to schedule my day and time to get my drink, like an appointment. Then, I truly look forward to it, and if it's not written in my schedule, I can't go get it.

Have a great week!